Fatty Fatty Boom-ba-latty

May 24, 2010 at 10:11 am | Posted in blogging, Uncategorized | 2 Comments
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First, I should address the fact that it has been forever and a day since I have posted anything here. My excuse? FACEBOOK.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Facebook since it allows me to stay in touch with friends and family all over the country and some even in other countries. No long distance bills! The downside is, it is so much easier to post a line about what I’m doing at the moment than to log in here, think for half a minute and write about what is on my mind. And the longer I neglect this site, the more guilty I feel, and the more guilty I feel, the more fabulous I think my ‘come back’ post will need to be. Silly, I know.

So I’m just going to add a post and pretend like any readers here are also on Facebook, reading my every post and are totally up to date with what is going on with me. (sorry)

Since I was low on time recently, I wrote a post on a scrap of paper and left it for later. It is now later. So I will just type it in here—-

———

So here’s the thing- I recently discovered that I am a big fat pig. This is relative of course. I used to be bigger. Quite a bit bigger. When I was several sizes larger that I am now, I thought of myself as “chubby”. Even at my chubbiest though, I never thought of myself with that derogatory word, “fat”. But when I look at photos of myself from that time period A-OOOO-GA! CHUB-O!

But back to the present….

I was a size 8 and occasionally, when all digestive funtions were working well, a size 6.

Now, I am not. My jeans LITERALLY hurt me after a few hours when I wear my size 8’s. So now I am wearing a 10. Is it healthy to define yourself by a size number? No, of course not.

Do I? Yes. Yes, I do.

Soooooo…..I got a dog. I didn’t get a dog JUST because of the whole fatso thing. But the idea of a creature that would demand that I take it on a walk for it’s own health and well-being was very attractive.

In truth, I’ve wanted a dog since I was a kid. Okay, to be honest, “kid-ish” would be a more appropriate term. I had dogs growing up. When I moved out on my own, I got a very tiny puppy who cried all night for a week and caused me to go nearly insane with sleep deprivation. I gave him back.

Later, I got a Maine Coon cat who acts like a very priveledged dog….except for the whole giving affection thing. No affection. Soooo not a dog.

But a couple of weeks ago (now over a month) I FINALLY got a dog. I’ve been walking him for about 30-40 minutes a day. Unfortunately, no miraculous weight loss has yet occurred.

Bummer.

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2 Comments »

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  1. I have defined myself by a size all my life. When I was in high school I was wearing size 14. Then in my late teens, early 20’s I got sick, really sick. I was down to a size 6. I felt good, I thought “wow, I look FAB!” and then I got sick…obsessive… in a different way. Something happened in my head. Things changed in my life and I think I felt out of control and I suffered from anorexia for several years. I was a size 0 and even could wear children’s 16. I eventually saw a therapist for 2 years because I knew I couldn’t fix myself anymore and I knew something was wrong with me in my head. I’m better now, with medication, but I’m “fatter”… i’m a 6-8 now, which years ago would have killed me. When I was a size 0, I told myself if I was ever 150 lbs I would kill myself. Really! Thank God for therapy and medication 🙂 Now I see things in perspective and in moderation. I was sooooo obsessive about weight and size that I thought about it 24/7. I would dream about it. I thought about NOT eating food constantly. Now I realize its about happiness. Obviously Jehovah doesn’t want us to be unhealthy and gluttonous and abuse ourselves (which I realized can go BOTH ways-overeating and undereating), but obsessing about it takes the joy out of living which made living worthless.
    From someone who has been on the other side… being thin is not all that it is cracked up to be. Being happy with your husband and children is far more precious than anything in the world.

    • I agree Sandy. That’s why I rarely complain about weight out loud. First, I don’t want anyone agreeing with me on my weight (Shut up, Richie). Second, if I write about it, then the thought process is over and done with and then I can stop obsessing. Writing is very therapeutic for me like that. Good for you for taking the time and work to fight your demons! And thank you for sharing your story!


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