Fatty Fatty Boom-ba-latty

May 24, 2010 at 10:11 am | Posted in blogging, Uncategorized | 2 Comments
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First, I should address the fact that it has been forever and a day since I have posted anything here. My excuse? FACEBOOK.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Facebook since it allows me to stay in touch with friends and family all over the country and some even in other countries. No long distance bills! The downside is, it is so much easier to post a line about what I’m doing at the moment than to log in here, think for half a minute and write about what is on my mind. And the longer I neglect this site, the more guilty I feel, and the more guilty I feel, the more fabulous I think my ‘come back’ post will need to be. Silly, I know.

So I’m just going to add a post and pretend like any readers here are also on Facebook, reading my every post and are totally up to date with what is going on with me. (sorry)

Since I was low on time recently, I wrote a post on a scrap of paper and left it for later. It is now later. So I will just type it in here—-

———

So here’s the thing- I recently discovered that I am a big fat pig. This is relative of course. I used to be bigger. Quite a bit bigger. When I was several sizes larger that I am now, I thought of myself as “chubby”. Even at my chubbiest though, I never thought of myself with that derogatory word, “fat”. But when I look at photos of myself from that time period A-OOOO-GA! CHUB-O!

But back to the present….

I was a size 8 and occasionally, when all digestive funtions were working well, a size 6.

Now, I am not. My jeans LITERALLY hurt me after a few hours when I wear my size 8’s. So now I am wearing a 10. Is it healthy to define yourself by a size number? No, of course not.

Do I? Yes. Yes, I do.

Soooooo…..I got a dog. I didn’t get a dog JUST because of the whole fatso thing. But the idea of a creature that would demand that I take it on a walk for it’s own health and well-being was very attractive.

In truth, I’ve wanted a dog since I was a kid. Okay, to be honest, “kid-ish” would be a more appropriate term. I had dogs growing up. When I moved out on my own, I got a very tiny puppy who cried all night for a week and caused me to go nearly insane with sleep deprivation. I gave him back.

Later, I got a Maine Coon cat who acts like a very priveledged dog….except for the whole giving affection thing. No affection. Soooo not a dog.

But a couple of weeks ago (now over a month) I FINALLY got a dog. I’ve been walking him for about 30-40 minutes a day. Unfortunately, no miraculous weight loss has yet occurred.

Bummer.

Thoughts skittering around in my mind…..

July 4, 2009 at 1:24 pm | Posted in Day to Day Musings | 1 Comment
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So here’s the thing….I don’t get this blog (typepad) for free. It costs money. Not a lot. But enough that if I’m not using it, I might as well just be tossing the currency out the window and letting the wind take it away….

Part of me is disheartened that almost no one even checks up on it anymore. That same part misses all the blogs that my email used to alert me about all the time. I can hardly even remember now what they were. About the only use my laptop gets anymore is updating my facebook status and waiting for my friends and family to do the same.

The other part is trying to kick my brain in gear and remind myself that this was supposed to be a cathartic process. A means to push my mind into pondering and stretching it’s muscles and not turning into the proverbial couch potato. When I had my writing job, I would end up updating my blog INSTEAD of doing my job….then it seemed like an escape, a fun activity to avoid work. And now….

Well now it is feeling more like work….as are my various unfinished art projects and neglected sketchbooks. What is wrong with my brain? The longer I am away from my art desk, the more it feels like my other long lost friends. The ones who don’t seek out my company anymore. Whenever I pass them by, I get that sad feeling in the pit of my stomach and I wonder what changed. Why don’t they miss me? Why don’t they seek me out anymore?

So here I am….typing away….enjoying the tippity tappity sounds of the keyboard as the letters and words form on the screen ….and I wonder why I don’t do it more often…

I’m hearing thunder off in the distance and thinking I really should shut down my computer to avoid it getting fried…and the thought that I SHOULDn’t be typing and going on and on …..makes me WANT to do it. It’s almost as if I can only have fun if I’m NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DOING IT. What I am I, seven years old?

Thoughts?

Anyone?

(gee, there’s that echo again….)

I quit.

April 16, 2009 at 11:51 am | Posted in writing | 1 Comment
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Well, that’s that. I’ve been writing for an entrepreneurial website for over a year now. And it has been sucking my creative juices DRY. I haven’t worked on an art project in the last year because there was just nothing left in me to do it. Meanwhile, I sit in my art room at my laptop, surrounded my art supplies and a desire to have the time and creative energy to do it.

So I quit.

I quit my writing job. Frankly, writing doesn’t pay jack. I would discourage anyone pursuing a career in writing to have a plan B. It is creatively gratifying to have a body of work that you can look at and say, “Look! I did this!”. But your bank account will be sadly empty. Sooo…after weighing the pros and cons and really wrangling with myself, I finally called it quits on the writing job.

Now I feel like I have some non-guilt-laden time (because i feel like i should be doing something else) to actually do something that I love to do. Ironically I have a lot of guilt over not working on my art as well. Guilt really seems to be a reoccurring theme with me lately.

So onwards and upwards!

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